Understanding The Spiritual Love Of Being A Christian

Well, good morning, everybody. And welcome to Preston Trail. Whether you're with us here in the room in Frisco or watching online, we are delighted that you have joined us and I'm excited about today's message. But I want to let you know, we had to call a little bit of an audible. Normally, Paul would have been up today speaking about 1 Corinthians 12, and then I'd be up next week speaking about 1 Corinthians 13. However, I've been struggling with back issues for about three years now, and I'm having surgery bright and early in the morning. So Paul graciously switched weeks with me. So I'm going to be doing chapter 13 today. He'll be doing chapter 12 next week.

Now, as I spoke about surgery, listen, I would appreciate your prayers. I would love your prayers because of two things in particular. Number one is I'm a terrible patient, and second, my wife is a self-described terrible nurse. So it's not a good combination at our house. And so we need prayer that we can get over the next week or two.

I'm really delighted to be able to talk with you about 1 Corinthians 13 today. It is one of the most beloved passages of Scripture. It is inspired. It is poetic. It is beautiful. But it is most often used out of context. You'll hear it most often in a wedding, but the context in which Paul originally wrote it was not a wedding at all.

In fact, he was writing it to a group of believers in Corinth who had misunderstood the true nature of spirituality, and he was trying to come in the side door and help them understand a little bit more about that. Now, the more I think about it, the more I've come to realize that we have more in common with the people in Corinth than we might imagine. Because of their misunderstanding, their church was at risk and they were losing their witness to their culture. I believe when you look at what's going on in the church in America today, we could possibly say the same thing.

Do you know that for the first time in 80 years, the number of Americans that are members of a church has dropped below 50%. And in 2007, a book was written entitled Unchristian. It was written by David Kinnaman who is now the president of Barna Research. The book is about some research they did with thousands of people aged 16 to 29 who were outside the faith. And they were trying to discern: what do people think about believers? And their discovery was not very encouraging. They discovered at that time, that 91% of the people outside the Christian faith believed that Christians were simply anti-gay, 87% said Christians were judgmental. 85% of people thought Christians were hypocrites. And 75% of the people thought that Christians are too involved in politics.

Now that was 2007. 14 years later, those people are now 30 to 43 years old. And quite frankly, over the last 14 years, I don't believe that Christianity in America has given the world any reason to change those ways of thinking. In fact, it's probably worse, and it makes me wonder why, because our founder, Jesus, his hallmark contribution to our faith was his sacrificial death on our behalf out of love. And we say that God is love. In fact, the verse that we go back to all the time to define our faith is, "For God so loved the world…"

And when you look at the life of Jesus, he loved the marginalized. He loved the sinner, the irreligious and the irreverent people. Everything you can read about Jesus in the new Testament is about the love of God. And it makes me wonder why in the world are we not known in our culture as the best lovers of people in the world? Let me ask that again: Given everything in Scripture about Jesus and God, and everything that we know to be true, why in the world are we not known as the best lovers of people in the world?

And I think what was going on at the church at Corinth, and what Paul is trying to communicate to them is the answer to why we are now where we are. How did we get here? Well, there are a couple of things that I want to identify. First of all, we have fundamentally misunderstood the nature of Christian spirituality and that's exactly what the apostle Paul was addressing when he was writing this letter to the believers in Corinth.

The first three verses of 1 Corinthians 13 are very memorable for most people. Here's what he writes. "If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing."
Now, Paul chose those scenarios for a very specific reason. You see, in the church at Corinth, they were practicing and abusing some of the spiritual gifts that you'll hear Paul talk about next week. And most of them were “sign” gifts—speaking in tongues, prophesying, or performing miracles or healing. And whenever you're involved in sign gifts, it's very easy to go from “I'm doing this for the purposes of God” to “Man, aren’t I spiritual” when you start getting a lot of attention. And you begin to think “I can do all of these spiritual things!” and yet you may have no emotional maturity when it comes to the way you treat people lovingly.

And so what Paul is really trying to tell us today is this, doing religious things, motivated by self-trust is a fool's errand. It's not worth the time. And so just as Paul was trying to put these scenarios together to reflect his culture in Corinth, I started thinking this week, "Well, I wonder if Paul were writing to Christians in America today, how would he phrase it for us?" So I wrote three parallel scenarios out. I claim no official inspiration from God, but this is what makes sense to me, as far as what Paul might write today.

Here's the first scenario:

If I take the right stand on all the issues in the culture war, but do not have love, I may win a battle but will lose the war.
Here's another one: If I read the Bible through in a year and never miss a worship service in person or online, but do not love others more as a result of doing those things, well, my time would have been better spent elsewhere.
Here's the third one: If I vote for the right party to “own the libs or the haters,” depending on what side of the aisle you're on, but do not have love, my vote, your vote, counts for nothing.

You see, Paul wants us to understand that we can't simply do religious things disconnected from what's going on in your heart. And quite frankly, what he wants us to know is that doing religious things motivated by the love of God and love for God and others is what leads to true and genuine spirituality. It is doing the religious things that we do that we're called upon to do, but we're doing them for the right reasons and for the right people.

Now, not only do we misunderstand what true spirituality is, I think we also have fundamentally misunderstood the true nature of love. And that's what Paul helps us understand in verses four through eight. Once again, perhaps very familiar to you, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. It does not dishonor others. It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered."

Okay. He's going to get up in our grills right here. He's going to start meddling. "It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
As a quick reminder, you may know that in the New Testament language of Greek, there are four words that are translated into the word love in English. There is Eros love, which is sexual, romantic love. There is Philia, which is brotherly love, from which we get Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love (unless you're a Cowboys fan, then they don't love you). And then there Storge love, which is familial love. And then there's Agape love.

Now, the thing about those first three is that they are intimately tied to feelings. And that's what our secular culture tends to think about love. In our secular culture, love is most often perceived as something you feel. It’s something that just happens to us. "Oh man, I love this person. I'm falling in love with this guy or this girl.” It's not necessarily a commitment of our mind or our heart.

Agape love on the other hand is perceived as something that you do. That's why Paul uses here 16 verbal qualities to define love. And the love that he's speaking about is Agape love, which means the commitment of one's will to unconditionally wish, will and work for the wellbeing of another person.

Bob Goff gets it right: Love Does. Agape love is always shown by what it does. And the ultimate expression of Agape love is Jesus Christ laying down his life, being nailed to a cross, being pierced for our sins and our transgressions and for our ultimate rescue and redemption. That is the ultimate expression of Agape love.

Now, here's what I see happening. Because so many of us, me included, have misunderstood what genuine spirituality is, you can't just do spiritual things and it not be tied to emotional maturity that comes with love. And we have misunderstood the nature of love. It's not a feeling as much it as a commitment to love and to care for people. Because of that, our culture thinks that we're irrelevant. Our culture is rejecting us. We are known more for what we are against than what we are for. The tide is going out on Christianity in our culture because of those two things. And there're probably more, but I think of those two in particular.

Now, what can we do about that? How can we turn the tide and begin to change things in our own lives and ultimately in the world? Paul offers us some really good information here: the way we turn the tide is that we humbly begin to pursue emotional maturity. He goes on in 1 Corinthians 13 to write this, "When I was a child, I talked like a child. I thought like a child. I reasoned like a child, but when I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me, for now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."

Now, what is it like to think like a child and to grow through this process of maturity into an adult? Well, I don't know about you, but when I was a child, when something happened to me or someone said something that hurt me or offended me, I reacted emotionally. I said what I was thinking. I perhaps struck out at them or I withdrew from them. Or I said things that I would regret later. When we are children, when someone does something to us, we react to it. But as you grow into more maturity and someone offends you or hurts you, you are patient. You realize that you don't have to respond to your emotional feelings inside, you can react with kindness. You don't have to keep a record of this wrong; you can seek the wellbeing of the other person.
And so what Paul is helping us understand is that we need to have this humble spirit. And here's the way I would say it, emotional maturity is the humble self-awareness that there's always more to learn on the journey to becoming fully responsible for one's self, one's faith, one's life. And here is Paul who wrote about half the New Testament saying, "Hey, listen, I don't see everything right yet. I'm still learning. I'm still growing to be an adult."

I was reading an article from the Harvard Business Review earlier this week, and the writer who was studying leaders and entrepreneurs and managers said there was one quality that stood out in all of the great ones. You know what it was? Self-awareness. They know who they really are and where they are in their journey. And here's Paul, the greatest missionary who've ever lived, really smart guy, really deep spiritually, right? And yet he is saying, "I recognize that I still have much to learn. I still need to be transformed.”

So in order for us to change the tide, we're going to have to begin being humble and open to learning a different way about living out our faith, have a different set of priorities, adopt a different philosophy. And here's the different philosophy.
The next thing he says is this, is that we must be “all in” on the most excellent way. And that way is the way of loving others well. Now, Paul actually begins 1 Corinthians 13 with what he says in 1 Corinthians 12:31. After talking about these gifts and trying to help the Corinthians know how to handle them appropriately, he writes, "And yet," in spite of all of these gifts that you have, "I will show you the most excellent way." The best way, the ultimate way, God's way, if I can. And it's the most excellent way to do what? To live your life, to experience the good life, to be a husband or a wife, to be a mom or a dad. It's the best way to be a coworker or to be a neighbor or to be a citizen of this country.

He is saying that the most important thing that you can do is love other people well. But how do you do that? Well, Jesus was a pretty good example for us. In fact, Paul is actually right on Jesus' track in his way of thinking. In John 13:34-35, Jesus is speaking to his disciples the evening before his crucifixion, giving them some last words. And here's what he says to them, "So now I'm giving you a new commandment, love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples."

I believe that what Jesus is doing is giving a new commandment that actually sits on top of the great commandment. The great commandment is love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength and your neighbor as yourself. But Jesus is elevating that now and saying, "Listen, I don't want you to just love your neighbor as you love yourself. I want you to love your neighbor, I want you to love your enemy, I want you to love your family the way I have loved you."

And then he goes on to say, "It is your love for one another that will prove to the world that you are my disciples." He is saying, this is the distinguishing mark of a genuinely spiritual, emotionally mature person. Don’t miss this. This is the bottom line of everything Paul is trying to teach us and that Jesus wants us to know. And here it is, the true mark of an emotionally and spiritually mature believer is that they love other people well.

Now, you might be saying, "Well, how can you break that down? What does it really mean for me to love well?" Well, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 is a really good example. And quite frankly, if I think about loving others the way Jesus loves me, I see that Jesus’ love is pretty close to verses four through eight. As a matter of fact, several writers that I was reading this week take the name Jesus and insert it where love is in that text. And it works.

Let me do that for you right now. Jesus is patient. Jesus is kind, Jesus does not envy. He does not boast. Jesus is not proud. He does not dishonor others. Jesus is not self-seeking. He is not easily angered. He keeps no record of wrongs. Jesus does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Jesus never fails.

If you want to know how Jesus loves you, that's it. And that's the way Paul is saying we are to love other people. In light of the self-awareness thing that I think we all want to have, I thought it might be good for us to go through a little exercise and perhaps allow you the opportunity to put your name in place of the word love and give you an opportunity to do some self-evaluation.

No one's going to be watching you. You're not writing this down or anything, but I'm going to walk through these things, and I'm going to ask you as I do to rate yourself, one to five. All right? Here’s how you rate yourself: one - never, two - almost never, three - sometimes, four - almost always, and five - always. Okay? Self-awareness, be honest. Sometimes the truth hurts, but only the truth can heal. Right?

So here we go. Here's the first one.
• I am patient and kind. How do you rate yourself?
• I am not envious of other people's good fortune. Almost never. Right?
• I tend to brag about the good things I do. Sometimes? Always? Okay.
• I tend to look down on others who aren't up to my standards. I think the world is telling us that Christians excel at this one. How do you do?
• I speak my mind without regard to how it affects others. Sometimes? I like this next one.
• If I don't get my way, it ruins my day. Ever happened to you? Is that the way you emotionally respond?
• I'm easily irritated by others. Almost never, sometimes. Right? And here's the one that meddles,
• I don't keep score when people offend me. Be honest on this one. We carry a lot of grudges, don't we?
• I am very satisfied when justice and truth win out. Here's another one,
• I tend to give up on and lose faith in people. That's so easy to do. Isn't it?
• I can persevere through most every circumstance Almost always. Right? Hopefully. And here's the last one.
• I'm willing to love people as long as it takes.

That's how Jesus loves you, and that's what it means for you and me to love others as Jesus has loved us. And if you want to be a game changer in your marriage, in your friendships, in your office, in your classroom, in your community, in your nation, then you simply need to start loving like this more and more.

Now, there's something that I've learned, and it's taken me a while. I can't change any other person except me. Agreed? We can only change ourselves. But here's what happens. When you and I change ourselves, when we start loving more, it impacts the environment in which we are living, and it really frees up the people around us to love more, too.

Paul writes in Romans chapter five, that the Holy Spirit is given to us to fill our hearts with the love of God. And so, as we love God, as we follow him, we can just expect that love for others to be there for us. It's a gift.

Now with that in mind though, I want to take a little bit of a turn and just share with you something that's really been on my heart, and it's really about our nation. I've been talking about us as individuals and perhaps a little bit as a church, but as you all know, our nation is in a little bit of disarray. We are polarized in ways that I haven't seen since 1968. We are so divided, and it seems like we are stuck. Edwards Deming is a business writer who I like a lot. And here's one of his quotes. He says, "Your systems are perfectly designed to give you the results you're getting."

Now, most of the time I apply that to the Dallas Cowboys. Their systems are perfectly designed to give them the results they've gotten for the last 25 years. Right? But here's what I want you to think about. Our political system is perfectly designed to give us the results we're getting right now. I'm not saying I don’t appreciate much about our political system. There's a lot of great stuff about it, but when you take our two party system and add to that social media, we are locked in mortal battle with other groups.

And here's the thing, unfortunately, Christians are getting pulled into this political battle, and if you're going to win that battle, you have to work harder and you have to become meaner and you have to do even crazier or believe even crazier things. But here's what I want you to know: Jesus never once tried to change an existing kingdom. Never. What Jesus did is he introduced a new kingdom. It is the kingdom of God, and it spans every border and every race. It spans every culture. It is a kingdom in which the glorious, unconditional love of God reigns in the hearts of people. And they love one another, and they serve one another, and they bear each other's burdens.

They forgive one another. They care for the dying. They care for the sick. They care for new families. They raise them up and they love one another. And Jesus' expectation was that this new kingdom would be so compelling and so inviting that people would leave their loyalties to their other kingdoms so they could be a part of this kingdom, which is so loving, so gracious and eternal. And that's the kingdom you and I are invited to live in every day.

And here's the thing, our nation will never change. It's just going to keep going the same direction until people who bear the name of Jesus decide to start loving other people, all people, all genders, all parties, all races, all colors, all states, all countries well. And until we do, it will never change. I believe that Jesus, through Paul, is trying to call us as individuals. And if nobody else does it, Preston Trail Church family, can we just simply say we want to be the kind of church that no matter what else happens, we are going to love people well in every possible way, as long as it takes. That's what I believe God is calling us to in his Word.

And so my hope and prayer is for you that this love of God will just flow into your life. And that's why I'm so glad that we get to celebrate communion together today. Paul ends 1 Corinthians 13 with these very famous words, "And now there are three things that remain; faith, hope and love. And the greatest of these is love." Now, what is he trying to communicate there? Well, I think what he's saying is this, that when all the dust of time and eternity settles, only three things will remain; faith hope and love, and love is the greatest. He's saying that of all the ideas ever generated, of all the technology ever innovated, of all of the art ever created, of all of the philosophies that ever captivated in all of history, they all pale in comparison to the love of God in Jesus Christ.

Jesus is the alpha and the omega. Before time and history, there was love. And when time and history are over, there will be love. The most powerful force in all of creation is love. And we have that source of love being poured into us. And these little elements right here are two small emblems of this unconditional sacrificial love that followers of Jesus, for 2000 years, have been taking to remind them that love is the greatest.

On the night before his crucifixion, Jesus gathered with his disciples, and they took Passover together. And while they were eating, Jesus took the bread and he blessed it.

Father, thank you for this small emblem of the body of Christ that reminds us of his sacrificial, unconditional love for each one of us. So thank you, Father. And we eat it in gratitude. He then took the cup and said, "This cup represents a new covenant of love." And we drink this cup reminding us, it was the love of Christ, the shedding of his blood that paid our debt so we could live and love in him for all time. The gospels record for us that after the disciples celebrated Passover, they sang a hymn together. And I think it's always good to follow the disciples. They had some pretty good ideas.

And so I want us to stand and sing a song titled One Thing Remains; it is love. And I want to invite you in the spirit of worship to stand and to sing as an expression of your gratitude for this love of God.

Would you pray with me please? Heavenly Father, thank you for your love for us that never runs out. And Lord, I pray that we will be the kind of people whose love for others never runs out. And I pray that in the days to come, if nowhere else in the world, right here in north Texas, people would begin to see your followers as people who love really well. Father, that's your calling in our lives, and that's our hope and prayer for each one of us, in Jesus' name. Amen.



Recorded in Frisco, Texas.